


wishbone

by flannelblues



Category: Criminal Minds (US TV)
Genre: Angst, Autistic Spencer Reid, Christmas, Fluff and Angst, Gen, Hurt/Comfort, Implied/Referenced Character Death, Implied/Referenced Child Abuse
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-12-17
Updated: 2020-12-17
Packaged: 2021-03-11 05:35:19
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,096
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28129977
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/flannelblues/pseuds/flannelblues
Summary: Spencer spends Christmas Eve at the Hotchner household. He and Aaron talk about movies, not-so-spectacular Christmas experiences, and the deceased.
Relationships: Aaron Hotchner & Spencer Reid
Comments: 5
Kudos: 70





	wishbone

“Wanna crack the wishbone with me, Uncle Spencer?” Gathering a small pile of mashed potato in his spoon, Aaron looks up to see his son practically bouncing in his seat. He turns to the Uncle Spencer in question and raises a dark eyebrow, cracking a smile.

“I’d love to.” Spencer puts a napkin over his fingers before grabbing the end of the wishbone that’s been enthusiastically presented to him, Jack gives him a funny look.

“Uncle Spencer doesn’t like touching dinner foods with his hands.” He provides for his son, who doesn’t question the reasoning one bit, bringing a small smile to his father’s face.

“Go!” Jack shouts as he rips his part of the wishbone with his chubby fingers, his reindeer-themed pajama sleeves hanging off his wrist. “I got it!” He starts to shout again, using even less of his inside voice. Spencer joins Aaron in cheering for the six- _and a quarter!_ -year-old’s victory.

“Someone’s going to be getting some good gifts from Santa tomorrow,” Aaron says with a grin as Spencer places the smaller half of the bone onto the table, wrapped neatly in the red napkin. 

“Did you know that the tradition of snapping a wishbone in half was started by the Etruscans?” Spencer gesticulates, nearly flinging the carrot off his fork, as Jack listens to him intently; even though he doesn’t understand half of what his father’s friend is saying.

Aaron can’t help but think that it’s been months since he’s seen Spencer this happy, months since the team lost Emily. Guilt tugs at his chest. He shovels mashed potato down his throat to push the nagging feeling down.

  
  


One pudding, a viewing of Rankin/Bass’ ‘Rudolph The Red-Nosed Reindeer’ and a bedtime story later, Aaron flops down next to Spencer on the sofa. The younger man clutches a cushion as he stares, mesmerized, at the TV. He recognizes the movie almost immediately, it’s that stupid Gremlins one from the ’80s. The blender scene, to be precise.

“Scared, Reid?” Aaron relaxes into the sofa, he could fall asleep right here if he didn’t need to put out Jack’s presents in a few hours.

“No.” Spencer looks at him like he’s an idiot. “I’m just wondering why this is a Christmas movie. Are you scared?”

“Takes place during Christmas, I guess. And no, but this thing did scare the shit out of Sean when we were kids. We’d watch it pretty much every year.” He chuckles a bit at the memory. “Did your family have any special traditions?” Immediately after the question leaves his mouth, he realizes he may very well have just stood right on a landmine.

But Spencer just shrugs a little. “My Mom never got me to believe in Santa or anything. She and my Dad used to argue about it a lot around this time, actually. She always said I would’ve figured it out before I was five anyway.”, he takes a deep breath and picks at his cuticles, “-And uh, after my Dad left she barely even remembered when it was Christmas anyway.”, Spencer shakes his head as if it’ll make both of them forget what he said before he forces a tight, forced smile. “What about you?”

“Sean and I would always stay up late. I’d be focused on studying but he was still young enough to think he could stay awake long enough to catch Santa.” Aaron closes his eyes for a second. “Before he was born though, and even sometimes afterward, my Father would-” He stops for a second, grinding his teeth a little, “He’d just be so angry. I’d- I’d be on my best behavior but he always found something.” 

“Not a very happy holiday for you either, then,” Spencer remarks, still staring at his fingers. He earns a small, polite laugh from Aaron. The string lights flash rainbow in the corner of the older man’s eye. Jack’s kindergarten class made ornaments a few weeks ago, one of which hangs proudly in the center of the tree. 

A commercial for some retail outlet takes over the screen, making it much brighter than the dark pool scene on the TV previously. It’s only then that Aaron notices the scarlet tinge in Spencer’s eyes. He takes a deep breath, but Spencer beats him to starting the dreaded conversation.

“I was supposed to spend Christmas with her this year, you know?” It comes out as nothing more than a whisper, barely audible over the all too cheery advertisement chimes in the background. “She, Rossi, and I are the only ones that don’t have partners or family nearby to spend it with, and Rossi’s well- you know, Rossi.”

“Spencer-” He can’t listen to this, not when he has the power to fix it.  
  


“I just really miss her, Hotch.” Spencer’s rubbing his palms deep into his eyes and skull, inhaling the occasional shaking breath. “I keep just- I keep just thinking that she’s gonna be back someday, that this is all some horrible dream. But it’s been months. And JJ- they’re best friends, right? And she’s been handling it so well- I mean, I’ve been relying on her so much and I’m falling apart but everyone else is moving on and I just- I can’t.”

He should tell him.

He knows he should tell him.

But he won’t.

He won’t. He won’t. He can’t.

For a horrible moment, Aaron almost worries that they’re being too loud, that they’re going to wake up Jack who won’t be able to get back to sleep because it’s Christmas Eve and he’s six years old. 

He shakes his head, that doesn’t matter right now.

“Reid- Spencer, _listen to me_.” He’s turned towards the younger man, hands gently placed on his shoulders. He gives Spencer a moment to stop being two steps from hyperventilating.

“You’re grieving. We all are. Do not _ever_ be ashamed of that, okay? You will take as much time and help as you need.” 

Spencer keeps crying, getting better and then worse. “I should get home.” He croaks eventually, rubbing his eyes with the hem of his shirt.

“No. You will stay here tonight.”  
  
“I can’t impose any more than I already have.”   
  
“You’re not imposing. Do it for me. Please”

They end up slouching half-asleep into the latest hours of the night, Spencer never really stops sniffling, which only makes the fist around Aaron’s heart clench harder.

“Thank you,” Spencer whispers moments before he falls asleep, the flashing Christmas lights shining reds, greens, yellows and blues on his cheeks.

Aaron needs to tell him.

But he won’t.

**Author's Note:**

> disclaimers:  
> 1\. I actually love 'Gremlins'. Gremlins slander will not be tolerated.  
> 2\. This was originally going to be much fluffier. oops.  
> 3\. Recently, I lost someone very close to me who Emily always reminded me of. It was,, kind of a lot so this may not be very well written as it's emotionally charged with some very recent emotions.
> 
> thanks so much for reading to the end! feedback is always appreciated.


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